I fought the law, and the law won

It's been over three years since I have been in a formalized education system. Living where I do (among other logistical considerations), it's tough to get my butt to a physical location at which I may absorb knowledge.

"Aha," I thought to myself: "I'll just sign up for one o' them-there Innernet courses, and study from afar, saving gas, travel time and other logistical considerations. I went so far as to sign up for an online course for introduction to the American Legal System. Having already taken the field trip portion of the class, I figured I'd back it up with the less-expensive, classroom version.

The cost of the course itself is $60; pretty reasonable, I think. Then, I went to buy the book. Ninety bucks minimum, for the used, scribbled-in, dilapidated version, and a few bucks more for the new one! I must be cheap (scratch that, I know I am), but that's a tad pricey for a single book! I even tried to cheat and get it at Amazon, but even the used versions there are $70+plus.

Fuuuuuck that! I'm gonna slither my way through a few used bookstores, and see what I can come up with. Textbooks are just too much!

Major score

A few weeks ago, a 1977 Terry travel trailer was bequeathed to me by someone who had moved on to bigger and better. The only catch: I had to arrange to remove it from its lot. My boss did me a big solid by getting his Jeep into a pretty hairy spot and dragged the thing to where my wife's "Brick Shithouse 250" could hook up and drag it away.

There were some other significant hitches along the way, but we finally got the thing home today. It's nearly as old as I am, and not nearly as broken down and worn.

I look forward to putting some miles and fun onto this thing next year. Just another reason I am a lucky guy.

Shoot the elephant

Since I haven't had more than two customers in the past year for LiberatedPachyderm.com's Virtual Tour service, I'm going to pull the plug. If you haven't seen it yet, look quick, because the host has its orders to yank that limping behemoth off the server soon.

I'm no longer troubled at the failure of this service to take off. I learned a few things, and I'm in a different place now (as is the Real Estate market) than I was when this got started. It helps that I have steady income again, and a new rainbow on the horizon to chase.

It's like they say: "when God closes a door, kick out a window or you're fucked." More about the window sometime soon.

Gym Rats

My wife and I are Valley Springs' newest Gym Rats. We joined the "fitness center" yesterday, and I had my first workout this morning. It was nearly deserted, which is fine with me. I did some light activity and scuttled off to work.

Knowing myself as I do, my biggest fear is sloughing off the workouts, and paying for a service I don't use, not to mention not getting healthier. My goal then is to go at least 3 times a week for the first several weeks, and adopt it as a habit, even if the workouts aren't strenuous.

I'm sick of being shaped like a pear - I want to be a banana, at least.

Having trouble today

Ech, I'm having trouble today. I can't get it in gear. I took on one ambition, and it failed miserably. That always slows me down.

Having trouble finding the next failure - I mean, project...

Thanksgaving

At the last minute, my wife and I decided to shuttle across town and enjoy a Thanksgiving dinner with her Mom. As always, she kicks ass in the kitchen, and many bellies were stretched to their breaking point.

Back at home, we enjoyed a quiet, relaxing evening. A great day.

John Bizarre is sick of your shit

John Bizarre is many things, but I posit that crazy isn't one of them.

Read his current and recent posts and you may disagree with me, but that's up to you. I suspect the truth is that he's convinced that the unthinkable is slowly but certainly unfolding before his eyes, and he can't keep quiet about it any longer. And it's amazing to watch.

I don't know if what he's pointing out is what is truly happening, but I know his advice (turn off the TV and start truly giving a shit) smacks of good advice. He has to understand the undeniable power of skeptical apathy and the lifelong stream of lies that cause it, but he rails against it just the same.

Everybody is full of shit, and we don't even twitch when candidate after candidate lies to our faces with a smile. It is now the natural order of things, and to suggest otherwise is now enough to label you a crackpot.

Well, get your crack outta my pot. Maybe he just makes enough sense. His rant against voting the same raggedy, binary, lesser-of-two-evils choices is convincing enough on its own to get me to shave my head and join the circus. If he makes much more sense, I'm voting for whatever rutabaga he tells me to. Even Ron Paul.

Nokia 6126 phone sucks ass

"Beep beep," gone.

That's the sound of the latest frustration with our new Nokia 6126 flip phones - codenamed: "Shitbag."

We signed up with AT&T for less-costly phone service, because we didn't need the services (nor the cost) we were enjoying with our old service. Shame on them for not allowing us to gracefully downgrade without chaining ourselves to a new, 2-year "agreement." As was necessary, we picked up two new phones because our old ones couldn't work under the new service. The Nokia flipphones were free in the bargain, and I still think we got boned.

Between the clunky Menu system, unintuitive interface all-'round, and sudden joys like aborted calls during apparent full-on coverage with all bars lit, the only thing I can count on this piece of excrement to do is make a satisfying noise when I throw it against the wall.

I waited to bitch about this because each new device has its own quirks, and some frustration is natural while the user gets up to speed. This thing continues to enrage though, even after a few weeks.

My wife is even contemplating (gasp!) no service at all, rather than endure this subtle and mild form of torture. I don't blame her - this thing sucks. Bleah.

...And it's all for me blog

It's with full awareness of the interim between my last blog entry and my current one that I sit in peace enter this latest post. Subjects upon which to blog swirl around in my head like wraiths, distinct but impossible to grasp and put in a bottle. I know it's been a while, and the main reason I'm jotting something down is so that I don't fall out of the habit completely.

In other words, this is likely to be among the least interesting blog entries I've ever written, but I need to stretch my fingers, so just give me a break.

The blissful mood with which I've blogged recently have eroded somewhat lately - nothing lasts forever - but I'm confident that this is a phase, and nothing more. I'm still very fortunate and have a lot going for me. Unfortunately, I've allowed fear and worry to rent out a one-bedroom apartment and single car garage in my head, and I have yet to evict these lousy tenants with their noisy parties in the wee hours of the night, and I just KNOW I'm going to regret not getting a deposit.

I'm looking at two days off with absolutely no plan at all as to what to do with them. This is not an ideal situation, as I usually give in to boredom and hoist some beer. This little bargain has been wearing out for years, but I have yet to find a suitable and satisfying replacement for this often-regrettable but by now ingrained behavior. Still looking, and once I find it, I'm incredibly ready to embrace that change. Bleah.

Mama's got a brand new bag

My wife has entered undiscovered territory this past week, starting a new job closer to home. I am very proud of her for applying, interviewing and taking a job, especially knowing how harrowing the whole miserable process can be. Luckily, they know quality when they see it, and snatched her up as quickly as they could.

It's closer to home and so far, low stress. Also, it's a reliable schedule, obliterating much of the guesswork involved in the last gig. It isn't all perfect, but a lot of it's good. I sure hated to see her worn to the bone with long shifts, brutal weather and marathon commutes. I really like seeing her fresher and with more time on her hands.

She may like it too, but I don't know - all that matters is that *I* feel better, right? Heh.

Dumbledore isn't a queer

So author J.K. Rowling announced that her wise wizard character, Dumbledore, is gay. Or, was gay - he's been dead a while, you know.

I have to say, I think she's mistaken.

I know, she's the author, she created the characters, and some (including Rowling herself) think that gives her the right to rewrite history, now that the money's been made and blatantly provocative statements have no chance of impacting the many millions she's raked in. That's all fine, but there's one problem:

It never happened. In all the Potter books (not one of which I've read, and I don't think that leaves me in the slim minority everyone else seems to identify), never once did Dumbledore open-mouth kiss another guy, roger one of the gargoyles or so much as visit a Pier 1 Imports browsing for faux-antique coffee tables. If it didn't happen in the books (or the movies, for that matter), it didn't happen.

I mean, why not declare: "Oh by the way, he was black. Three feet tall. A master at water polo"? Because it would be ridiculous, that's why. All that Harry, Dumbledore, The Dukes of Hazzard and Rocky and Bullwinkle ever will be is what they were during their respective runs in their chosen media. To go back after the fact, kick this old goat out of the casket, just to push him out of the closet, strikes me as an opportunistic stunt, not a brave step to legitimize homosexuality.

If she wanted old Dumbie to experience a gay life, she should have written that into the books that gave him said life. It reminds me of the Family Guy episode where Peter Griffin dreams up his own TV show where he has a black son. The imagined intro of "My Black Son" runs for 40 seconds or so, and tacks on the very end this afterthought: "Also he's a ninja."

Hey... a ninja. Yeah! "also, Dumbledore was a ninja!" Why not?

For two other views on this "Dumbledore is a homosexual" theme, see these links:

EW.com - Dumbledore: A Lovely Outing

Put Dumbledore Back in the Closet

Life is good

Yesterday was an awesome day off, just about perfect. Today is shaping up pretty goddamn fabulous as well.

I have so many things in my life to be thankful for. I started making a list today, and it never ended. I only stopped to go accomplish a few things, or else I'd still be writing.

I know this sounds blissed-out and kinda fruity, but it's true, and worth noting. The more I look for ways to achieve happiness, the more I see and hear that it starts with gratitude, being thankful for all the shitty shit you have now. Appreciate, don't take for granted.

It's such a small thing, it seems impossible that it can help you get your head right, but I believe that it's integral. Such a small thing, which makes sense that it would be the mote that snowballs, gathering mass and inertia, and before you know it, you're posting dreamily to your blog about how great you've got it.

More good things on the horizon. They will be much appreciated.

Life in the interims

Life is busy here lately, and I suppose it's a good thing. It's different from the recent, long term pattern, that's for sure. While it's possible to schedule the basic necessities, I find it's also possible to fit in just a little bit more of the things that need doing into the cracks of my life.

For example, my morning includes distinct time periods for feeding myself and the animals, preparing myself for work, and dropping my son off at his Grandma's. By my days off, the place looks a wreck, because housekeeping is of a secondary nature.

However, if I keep an eye out for the things that deserve my attention, I can often slip in a little good deed, useful effort or rewarding pursuit into the times in between the items on the agenda. I've washed dishes, called a friend and gotten a quick workout during times when I'd otherwise be taking the odd breath and daydreaming. I've certainly got nothing against a relaxed breath or the odd daydream, but I appreciate the amount of good an unscheduled endeavor can do.

Hell, I hadn't planned time for this blog entry, but here it is. Gotta go get my son...

Don't interrupt me

Just shut up.

Not forever. Not as a rule. Just as an occasional courtesy. Consider it a conversational exercise. Take those flapping, meaty lips of yours, those clicking teeth and your grunting throat, and make them still, just for a three-count.

Take a breath. Consider your next blurt, before you blurt it. Hey, while you're at it, take a real chance and listen to what I have to say for a change, you monopolizing boor.

By now it goes without saying that I don't like being interrupted. To tell the truth, I actually enjoy a conversation so energized that one conversant will excitedly interject something before the brainwaves lap against his mind's shore and obliterate the elusive thought written in mental sand. I dig that.

What I don't like is when I can't get an entire sentence out of my mouth before I am cut off, time after time, until I find myself at the end of a "conversation" without having completed a thought. It assumes I have nothing useful to contribute. It assumes your thoughts are the only ones that matter. It assumes I won't flick out my knuckles and rap you one in your relentlessly-vibrating throat, just to listen to the comparative silence between your ragged wheezing.

So, take a quiet breath. Smile and nod, even if I go on a bit. It's the polite thing to do. I'll shut up eventually, and it'll be your turn.

Big boy bed

My wife stopped at Wal-Mart the other night and whilst shopping for a few basic items, she couldn't resist buying some furniture. What fiendish grip is it that Wal-Mart has upon its patrons?

She brought home a traditional bed (that is, not a crib) for my son. It is a parent's way of saying: "I think you're old enough not to roll out and crack your head open in the middle of the night." He's very happy with it.

For a while at least, he goes to bed again of his own free will. Even more importantly, he can get up on his own, but he doesn't quite get that yet. Sometimes when he wakes, he'll lay in bed and whine about his predicament, rather than simply disembark the mattress and begin his day. Very old-school thinking, my boy. It's adorable to invite him to extricate himself from his self-imposed prison. Once free he's quite jolly, and if we're both home he comes to noodle around with us, before we all get up to begin the day.

Nightmarish

I can only imagine what paramedics see on a regular basis, but this has got to be one of the harder calls to live down. Can you imagine arriving on a scene like this:

"Paramedics found Gonzales lying unconscious on the bathroom floor and her newborn infant boy in the toilet."

Jesus.

Recordnet.com: Newborn mistakenly declared dead

It gets worse - the kid was declared dead at the scene, only to be found whimpering under his death shroud at the hospital. Also, he had crank and pot in his system, from the mother who "knew she was pregnant but didn't realize how far along the pregnancy was, she told police."

Pick three

I've had today off, a departure from my normal schedule to accommodate switching from Fri & Sat off to Sun & Mon off. OK by me.

This week I feel like I'm beginning to bring my interests into focus, and it feels really good. I've narrowed them down to:

• French language & culture
• Sierra Nevada area wilderness
• Stand up comedy

That doesn't mean I have no other interests, but whittling it down to a top 3 is a relief. I've always had what seems like dozens of interests and pursuits dazzling and distracting me, to the point where I can't pin any one of them down, and it's truly maddening. It's taken me a while, but I feel good about pushing the others to the back of my mind. It's much like narrowing an entire party full of people down to a few close friends, and having the ability to devote time and attention to them. Rewarding, calming, a real relief.

I've neglected my French, and stand up comedy is but a gleam in my eye, but I can easily picture doing more with them. Cool.

Where the Hell have I been?

Has it really been this long since my last blog entry? Wow. That should indicate how hectic life has been lately. I've been doing lots of fun stuff that I should tell you about, but I haven't taken the time.

I went to Sourgrass in Stanislaus National Forest last weekend with my boy. It was a busy day for babysitting, but still a great time. He could have spent the entire day tossing leaves into the river and bidding them goodbye, and was actually mad when I tore him away.

I'm getting along famously with my wife, who is totally awesome and radical, according to the child of the 80's. We don't have a lot of time together, and when we do, we're pretty burned out, but we're still tight, and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

Eh, that's all I have (made) time for. Hope all is well with you. Peace on you.

i am a rich man

I got a new watch yesterday, my first in years. I am a clumsy oaf, and my tendency to shear the watch from the band frustrated me so much that i gave up on wristwatches. Plus, i'm rarely far from a pda or phone, lessening their perceived value.
i found their value when i started hiking on my lunch hour, &
needed to be back at a certain time. Now, i've got a watch so cheap, its maker doesn't have a website! The thing's almost disposable. Am i not a rich man?

Video Assistant

I got a voicemail last night asking if I'd like to help a local TV station and video producer record a little project. Since my free time is more precious now than ever before, I almost begged off. Instead, I called and agreed to do it.

I didn't know if I made the right decision until the words were out of my mouth, but
I immediately felt better, having said yes. Odd how you don't know always what's right until you've committed.

Crew call's at 4:30. Cool!