How's my kid?

I haven't spoken to my daughter since she left. Father's Day and my birthday have passed without her attempting to contact me (aside from a text message from her mother's cell phone asking for something her mother wanted, allegedly from my daughter). I am not hurt by the lack of contact, but I am disappointed.

I know her head is in a place right now where she doesn't give a fig what's going on with me, and I accept that. I was pretty up in my own head at her age, although I think she's taken emotional unavailability to a drastic new level. Where the teenage me had built an emotional moat and wished someone would cross it, she's built an island fortress, complete with surface-to-air missiles and chemical warheads and declared war on all who would trespass, but hey, you say potato, I say po-tah-to.

All I'm saying is that I think I can grasp the idea that hurt causes people to flinch away, and enough hurt over time can cause a flinch that looks more like an Iron Man Triathelete Competition. I haven't called her for a few reasons: one, because my inner child is bruised by her withdrawal. Also, because I really don't think she wants to hear from me, and the socially awkward exchanges are too much, including the ham-handed and obligatory "I love you and miss you's" that are passed so woodenly that you'd think Pinocchio's zombie corpse was on the line. I figure, why put her through that? Hell, why put me through that?

On the other hand: "Wow, nice example, Dad." If I can't stick it out once in a while and make a mildly difficult effort, what good am I? It's like that old saying: "When the going gets tough, the tough get inaccessible and apathetic." I can do a little better than that, I guess.

Still, an e-mail or a phone call would have been nice. My inner child is never too far from my outer asshole, and the two are in constant communication. Throw the kid a bone.

Ignore the pearls, swine, and root your way along

I made a phone call to a potential web client earlier this week, following up on a sales presentation days earlier where I presented two totally decent designs and two very low prices, $350 & $500. It was the first time in a while I was non-plused.

I was mildly stunned because I was expecting some questions from a client who wasn't very web- or tech-savvy. I was expecting some haggling. What I got was: "We're not interested because it looks a little pricey, and we don't think it will do us much good." It still amazes me; since I have either already explained these things to this negative person and can't go any further without being myself (read: "rude"), I'll vent here.

First, "pricey?" Half-a-grand or less for some top notch designs, plenty of pages to support a Ma-n-Pa business and some fancy back-end widgets to pave the way for easy client contact is such a gift of services it should be considered theft! This client should have greedily written a check and snickered all the way back to his/her dank little office, congratulating herself at his/her business acumen at having some money-hungry web noodge over a barrel!
I only quoted such a low cost (about half what the service was worth) because I have the unfortunate compound of excess time and a dearth of money. This cost and these services were definitely stacked in his/her favor, but s/he didn't see it. Should s/he ever stumble over a bargain like this again, I hope that she grabs it by the balls and runs like Hell.

Second, the value: the designs were templates from very gifted sources, had colors that matched his/her business's design scheme, and offered plenty of room for this business to market its regionally-based services and products. They looked great, and would represent her professionally and positively. One included Flash animation, Webforms for the easiest of contact, and an e-mail list builder, allowing the client to easily reach out to interested parties for pennies. There is virtually no web presence in this region for the clients' competition. As it is now, clients Web-searching for this profession will go to Lodi or Stockton for this need, or go with word-of-mouth recommendations of better-known local businesses, having no idea an alternative exists! Bah!

All of this rushed through my head in the space of 0.75 seconds, and it was all I could do to stammer out: "er, ooookay, thanks a bunch...!" and keep my car on the road. Having expurgated this mental soot onto digital paper, something occurs to me. If I can drain the venom off this message, I can send the remainder to the client in a final effort to change his/her mind. Couldn't hurt...

Bulking up

I continue to pack on the weight. I made 211.5 today. I have started running and walking recently, but God knows I had better start turning down junk food and embracing exercise more fervently. I'm not going back to 235. I'm just not. Hell, I don't wanna see 212 again.

Interview

I have an interview today for a computer gig in Stockton. I hope it turns into something, but I am not convinced it's a match. Sometimes, though, life surprises you...

It's about time

Last week, my wife and I fulfilled a promise I made to myself when we moved in here. We pressure-washed and treated the weather-beaten deck off the backside of our house. It looks much better.