Open mike comedy pleas - posted

In a rare display of follow-through, I have posted several ads on local websites calling for amateur talent to contact me. The purpose: putting together an open mike comedy/spoken word event.

I've posted to craigslist.org, ourvalleysprings.com and MySpace in a cattle call for anyone (preferably stand-ups) who want the chance to perform in front of real live human beings.

There's a lot I don't have worked out, but I'm excited to take a fat swipe at it. Onward!

It's about damned time

Finally, a little shift in momentum. GM announced this week that they'll ease back on gas-guzzling trucks and SUV's, and try to crank out something that doesn't cost a fortune in fuel to drive for a fucking change.

I really had lost hope that anything at all would turn America's sloppy, unintelligent lust for oil away from its course. I knew as well as everyone else that it would take a real kick in the nuts before industrial and political will would start to turn that ship around. In the faceoff between the status quo and good sense, it appears that GM finally blinked, and thank your god for that. I honestly thought it would never happen.

I know it's not everything - it may not even be much. But I allow myself to believe that this is a first step in a process that is too long in starting; that of switching from the endless reliance on fossil fuels, and a move to more sensible, sustainable and contemporary fuel sources.

Customer service sucks

Having worked for years and years in support positions of one variety or another, I can safely say that spending your life in the direct service of others sucks the life right out of you.

Like any other job, its difficulty is magnified exponentially by the degree in which you try to excel. Nurses, technical support jockeys, retail clerks - all these jobs are pretty easy if you're the type to just coast along and make a concerted effort not to give a fuck about the quality of your work and the people it affects. Take it seriously though, and the job's demands will tap your soul like a vampire with a tapeworm.

Working to accommodate the needs of others takes skill, talent, planning and devotion. It's like being the cartilage in a knee, or the squishy rubber of a mountain bike tire, absorbing the impact and jolts and whiplash from every bump in the road, so as not to pass it on to the next guy.

Need something impossible, due to someone else's failure to plan their own life? No problem. Need something done in 5 minutes that usually takes 20? Hey, we'll give it a shot. Need a solution to a problem that isn't even in my field, much less my direct resposibility? You got it, champ. It takes a lot of guts to plant both your feet and shout with determination: "Sir, I am your squishy rubber!"

Not to say that other gigs aren't tough, but they're tough in a different way, I think. Overall, we're all in the business of helping or accommodating someone else, but those who deal face-to-face with those whom they serve know just how exhausting it is, compared to simply appeasing one, pointy-headed boss.

There should be a separate spa for those in the support industry. An oasis just for those who need it most. Hotel clerks, 911 operators, paramedics, teachers, but only the ones who demonstrate a willingness to do a decent job of it. A sanctuary, stocked with lots of booze and pot and hookers, no clocks and no phones but those that dial out. But most of all, they should all have comfortably-appointed soapboxes, constantly manned, where any visitor can plop down and bitch to their hearts content about the people and the predicaments they faced that week, and what geniuses they are for having braved the storm and found a solution to a problem they didn't cause. Because that's what those in the service industry need most: someone to unload on.

And the people on the other side of the soapbox, listening to all the haranguing of these special spa clients...? Heroin. All they want.