John Bizarre's website updated, with video projects

I am thrilled to see that comedian and director John Bizarre has updated his website with content for his latest video projects. His promises of news on that front have been pretty dusty, but I can relate to the slow grinding of a project's gears.

So check out his videos, his Bio, and his always-entertaining Notebook. Go John!

And catch him next time he's in the region. He'll be in Fairfield and Reno, NV, in October. Make plans now, it'll be here before you know it!

Call SVU, I've been raped

I ran an errand last night, taking two PDF files on a USB drive to a local shipping/printing spot in the nearest strip mall. I've been there several times before, and the people were friendly enough. They weren't very tech-savvy though, and I've always had to walk them through the connection of my USB drive to print the documents it held, making the Three Stooges look like the Color Guard at Arlington National Cemetery.

I was nearly late for an appointment, taking almost twenty minutes to print two documents. It was lot like Goldilocks and the Three Retards: "This computer doesn't have USB. Oh, this other computer isn't hooked up to the printer. Oh, this (still other) computer is fine, but Adobe Reader needs updates. Oh wait, the first computer does have USB! Silly me!"

I took my color docs to the cash register, and found that I was charged not only for the extra page the printed (that I didn't want), but also charged three bucks for the "download!" I realize there was a helluva lot of effort involved, but that's isn't exactly my fault. One would think if you're going to charge someone for a service, you'd be a little better at providing said service. On the other hand, it did make me feel a lot better about my reasonably priced web design services.

A few extra bucks wasn't worth arguing over, especially when time's a-wastin', but I left feeling ripped off, and I'm not in a hurry to go back.

I've got enough mystery in my life as it is

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: If you're going to leave a voicemail/answering machine message for someone, indicate what the whole call is about. Following is one of the messages on my machine lately.

"Hi Tom, it's , just had a few questions for you. Call me back..."

I'm not calling that guy back. I don't mean to be selfish, but what's in it for me? I have a terrible habit of living my life primarily by fear, and until I kick it, I'm not calling back on this type of message. What if it leads to bad news? I'm not contributing to that situation at all. What if something's outta whack? Why so cryptic, unless he's trying to catch me with my guard down? Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me. Good luck getting a hold of me, pal.

Plus, it's lazy, inefficient and inconsiderate. Can't you just mention the questions, or type of questions, in your message? If you leave me the questions, maybe I can call you back with answers, having had a chance to review them, research them, and put some useful information together. That way, if I miss you and have to leave another message, I can just deposit your response in your voicemail, and leave playing tag to the kids in the street.

Hm? Am I on to something, or what? You bet your ass I am. Next time, leave a real, whole message, or don't bother leaving anything at all. My life has enough mystery and blind alleys already.