Thursday, March 26, 2009

Self-conscious

I have yet to answer that question they asked me in grade school: "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Although I find the question frustrating because of my inability to answer it, I have found a useful website for those solving the same puzzle: the assessment test at Career Zone California.

The result of the form wasn't all that enlightening, but whilst filling it out, it occurred to me: one personality trait I've identified is that I'm "all about being all about it." I am fascinated by New Things. I learn about them quickly and I can summon an uncommon amount of enthusiasm for them. My life and home are littered with evidence of studies about French, stand-up comedy, the outdoors, art, blah blah blah bluh-blah. Some interests persist, but mostly it's like speed dating at a job faire. "Time's up everybody, move on to the next vocational table!"

Unfortunately, I eventually fall out of love with what has now become Old Thing, and am ready to be dazzled by the new New Thing. There is stuff that I will do for free for a New Thing that I wouldn't do for love or money for an Old Thing.

I wish it were different. I've tried to change it, I've tried to adjust it, but I can't help it. Apparently ADHD guides and defines everything in my life, and all I can do at this point is to try to find a vocation or lifestyle that would make a positive out of this bewildering, quasi-amnesiac inability to focus.

I am open to suggestions. Something in the entertainment industry would be nice...