Saturday, January 17, 2015

A dream deferred

I was on track to visit Paris in the foreseeable future, and I was stoked. I was studying my French language skills, I was buying guidebooks, and I was scouting Expedia like a sniper on crank. I was in the groove, baby.

Now I'm out of work, and we're lucky to pay bills. Money isn't available to set aside. Language skills are going slack, guidebook's getting dusty, and Expedia can breathe a sigh of relief and stop looking over its shoulder.

I miss the buzz of anticipation. I have said long and often that happiness is having something to look forward to.  It was enough to compel me to all these pleasant endeavors, these happy efforts.

I recently came to realize that I'm still going to Paris, I've just got more time now to study the language, history and art that draws me there, which will inform my trip and expand exponentially my enjoyment of it.

My mindset sloshes to and fro, and I lose sight of valuable nuggets of perspective like this. I really should hold on to it, because it is one of the gobs of light and positivity that helps me stay afloat, so I'm writing it down. Don't wanna lose 'em.