Dumbass detector

It's been a long, interesting thirty-six years on this planet. Although I don't know a lot, I've learned this: One earmark of a real tool is that they pronounce "salsa" with a "z" sound.

"Sahl-zuh."

I've known a comparative few who say it that way, and let's just say they have certain personality traits in common. It's not necessarily a sure-fire indicator that you're a water-headed jerk, but it's certainly a red flag.

Might wanna watch that; it ain't right, it ain't natural, and I'm onto you.

Buy Danish

Muslims are boycotting Danish products in the wake of another round of printed cartoons featuring Muhammad wearing a bomb-shaped turban.

I'd like to apply my efforts to an anti-boycott, and recommend the fervent buying of Danish products, in response. Fortunately, there's a website devoted to this cause, BuyDanish.dk. How convenient!

Who knew playing with Lego was a political statement?

Stupid people piss me off

I regularly come into contact with people with whom I must get along, but who have an ignorance about them that obstructs not only their life, but also the lives of people around them.

Regularly tripping over, and picking up after, the same potato-headed goofball again and again wears a guy down. It really grates on me to have to smile and nod and suffer the same noodle-head ad infinitum.

I had to get that out - thanks for listening.

John Bizarre makes a helluva point

The Fourth Amendment of the Constitution is under attack, and John Bizarre is raising the alarm. Aside from his paranoia and martyr complex, he makes some fine points, worthy of reckoning and attention. It's not the last word on the subject, but it makes for some damn fine food for thought.

I don't think it's quite worth abandoning the country for, but it's certainly worth consideration.

One thing I'd point out - if John's trying to put together a coalition (he raves about being the only one fighting the fight - I'd advise him to go a little lighter on the sole survivor angle), he's not trying very hard. I don't even know how to contact him, were I to pledge my pen and sword in allegiance. Which I'm ready to do, by the way.

John, if you're out there, contact me - at least you'll have someone to water your stallion before you charge off at the windmills.

That's not meant to sound as gay as it does...