Plug in

There has been a thread that has run through my life, and it always will; that of turning away, flinching, retreating from things that sound difficult, tedious, un-fun. That of avoiding a person whom I have failed, ignoring an unpleasant circumstance, pretending that something bad will get better with abject, single-minded neglect.

This condition is not a thorough one. Certainly, I have embraced difficulties, met challenges and steamed through tough spots with courage, confidence and certainty. I don't run from every spooky corner, but I've tiptoed away from enough to recognize a pattern.

As with most of my areas of progress, recognizing and correcting this trend has been glacially slow, but I'm glad to say that it's persistent. I'm getting engaged in areas that were always walled off in my mind, stenciled garishly: "Not My Problem." I'm opening up to more, accepting more, embracing more readily than before. I feel like a cable box that's been upgraded to the Premium Package: "Holy shit, there's a lot going on out there."

It's not always easy, but it's always the right thing to do. I'm growing from it and I recognize the old traits in people around me who keep their narrow blinders clamped on tight. I feel better this way.