i love wildlife, but this is ridiculous

Going to my father-in-law's this morning, we didn't get a mile from the house before having to stopping for both a deer and a peacock, and seeing another deer. I can't believe anyone has trouble selling houses up here.

Homegrown therapy

Despite the title, this post is not about smoking pot. It's about the things that I can pursue that keep me happy, like:

• French studies - see yesterday's posts.
• Discount therapy - formerly known as retail therapy, discount therapy is a more accurate moniker, because few things please me more than getting something for nearly nothing. Today, my buddy and I ambled on over to a moving sale within ambling distance, and picked up a gaggle of second-hand items, including a camp lantern, a socket set and a metal cart. It's funny - moral issues aside, I'm still happier buying these things for a song than I would be actually stealing them outright.
• Music - No explanation necessary. Yesterday it was John Mellencamp day. I checked out his website, and realized it has been a helluva a long time since I bought one of his albums. The reason is that his music got more and more sad, regretful and dreary (much like this blog, you might say), lamenting the plight of the poor and others. His message just resonated less and less with me. I stuck it out for a few albums, but it never picked up. Maybe I'll ask for a recent release for my birthday (the 1998 release, "John Mellencamp" looks pretty tasty - you know, if you're thinkin' about it. Or, the latest, "Freedom's Road"). It's coming up you know, June 19th, same as Garfield!
  

Et plus encore...!

Hey, I'm really getting carried away with this merde...

But it is good to see that France24.com, the French version of CNN, is still plugging away. What I like best is that you can get French news in English, because although I read better than I speak or listen, I still don't read as well as I'd like to.

Allons-y!

Plus de francais

More French stuff:

TV5monde.org (TV 5 World) has long offered online media to help us learn French. I see that they now offer a very dedicated-looking product called apprendre.tv. I haven't browsed it much yet, but it looks nifty.

Le francais retourne

My self-imposed French studies have been abjectly neglected for many months. I picked up the book again today, and picked up where I left off. I still enjoy it. Gotta get back on track, if I'm going to go back to Paris, or impress the winemaker outside of town; both of which I would very much like to do!

So far, so good

I had a job interview Monday morning, went really well! I was loose - I made a conscious effort not to get penned into that space in my head where I have to say everything perfectly and have all the smooth answers. The result was that I was likeably obnoxious, and passed this portion of the process. Now, on to the background check! Wish me luck...

It was worth a shot

Well, it's done. Sunday, we sat my daughter down and had a talk, and told her we've arranged for her to go back to Utah with her mother, where she came from almost two years ago. I'm disappointed that it's come to this, but it's where we're at.

After these two years, we have failed to bond, failed to become anything other than her and us. Our relationship has never progressed past the point of concierge and houseguest. You'd think I would dig it, since concierge is a French word and all, but for some reason it isn't panning out that way.

Also troubling is my daughter's lack of response to the whole event. Her entire reply to my mini-speech explaining why we're going this route: "Okay." I invited her to share her thoughts and feelings, now or later, and I got the Snake Eyes. The shields went up, just like they always have when we have a discussion like this. I feel it's a big part of why we can't grow beyond our current, less-than-ideal circumstance.

While I am always wishing for more communication, I am relieved that there wasn't wailing and protests. I really wasn't looking forward to the sit-down, and I over-prepared for the event. I needn't have worried - it went like all our discussions go: I talk, she listens, no questions, no participation, no interaction. How dull, how lifeless.

I know she has benefited from her time here with us: she's earned good grades, lost weight to become a healthier, active person. She's made friends, boyfriends and been active in 4-H, although it never really captured her imagination like I hoped.

I tried to foster communication, form bonds, make a friend of my kid, but my imperfect efforts didn't take. This was the best chance we had at becoming closer family members during her teenage years. I feel like another good chance won't come around again for years, if ever. It's been like pushing a rope, and there's only so much one can do. An opportunity missed, to be sure.