How entitled?

I have a Computer Science degree. Does that make me a scientist?

I like to draw, write and shoot video, and I'm getting better at it by the same imperceptibly small and slow increments at which I practice at it. Can you call me an artist?

I've told jokes and gotten laughs on stage. Can I call myself a comedian?

I've given of myself to non-profit organizations. Am I a philanthropist?

I've hiked and fished and generally lain about the wilderness. I'm lousy at it, but I'm enthusiastic and improving. Am I fairly termed an outdoorsman?

I work independently for people who find that work valuable. Does that make me a businessman?

What's in a name? Surely, any communication carries with it a promise. "Your word is your bond." "A rose by any other name..." Should I promote myself with any or all of these titles, all technically true, some a paler shade of the truth than others? "Fake it 'til you make it?" If I do, am I a phony? Should I feel ashamed? Would others feel deceived, were they to know how much a title chafes against my own self-esteem, factual accuracy or no?

I ask because I see some people wear masks that don't quite fit, don't quite cover the smirks and winks that go along with them. For example, Bear Grylls's program, "Man vs. Wild" occasionally strains against the letter and intent of the truth. There are frequent and intense debates about just what manner of SAS soldier he was. I don't know the difference myself, but from reading the arguments, one type of SAS is on par with special forces/commandos, and the other is a less intimidating version, drawing comparisons to National Guardsmen or weekend warriors. Grylls himself never met a superlative he didn't like, exclaiming on every show that something was the fastest/meanest/favoritest/nastiest thing he'd ever done/seen/heard of. It gives the impression that everything he does is bigger, better, faster, badder than the thing before. It defies reality that that could be the case, but there you have it.

Is it even necessary? It may well take that kind of over the top, wild-eyed exclamation point-wielding to get a show off the drawing board, green-lit and on the air, but I can honestly say that I would watch the show even if he were a crossing guard who actually HAD tasted something worse than bloodworm grubs or whatever. It's just a good show featuring interesting outdoors techniques and spectacular views, and that's quite enough for me.

But I do wonder - since there are people who aren't interested in honesty, humility (not referring to Grylls now, although I expect he'd "never been more insulted" if I were) - do they deserve to be quasi-lied to in this fashion? If you can't be persuaded to get off your ass and pay attention to someone unless they've skydived naked and blindfolded behind enemy lines during a hurricane, do you deserve to be lied to? If that's the only way to get you motor running, should you really expect that everyone you meet or see on TV to be the most ultimate, extreme, balls-out, in-your-facest version of whatever they're doing? How exhausting. Can't I just be a fairly unassuming human being who's good at a few worthwhile things but still learning about others, and still be worth your time? Do I have to claim all things under the sun and suck all the oxygen out of a room before I'm taken seriously? It seems directly opposite of common sense.

I guess I'm not comfortable promising the moon. But doesn't that promise come with an implied wink anymore anyway?

In response to my own questions:

• Does that make me a scientist? I'll use the title, but only with generous humor.
• Can you call me an artist? Yes - I think the title of artist can be proudly claimed by anyone who seeks to create.
• Can I call myself a comedian? Shit, no. It takes more work than I've put into it, but I think I have gifts and skills that could have taken me somewhere with it, in another life.
• Am I a philanthropist? No, nothing so grand, but I wouldn't mind a title that says I've helped out now and then.
• Am I fairly termed an outdoorsman? Yes, but it's a close call. By next year I hope to be much more seasoned, wise and deserving.
• Does that make me a businessman? Yes, but only in a blue-collar, grounded sense of the word.